Dating or Courtship
Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. A modern family is a family that has been renewed by God. Courtship is defined as a process of finding a spouse. To Find means to meet, to learn and to light upon. The major difference between dating and courtship is the purpose for the relationship. Men and women who choose to date mostly are not dating to get married. Maturity and readiness for marriage are not considered when dating. Dating is mainly with the goals for having fun and romantic attachment. 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 “Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband”. Our lives surrounds a pattern of schooling, working to make money without the intentionality to raise Godly Children. Dating can make you happy but will end up in pain and loses. Your lose your time, money and virginity. A dating relationship is usually based on “now” but a biblical courtship is based on what God knows about each partner and His plans for their future. God can never lose and so we will never lose in Jesus name AMEN! Its unbelieving that makes people live for now. Isaiah 46:9-10
Remember the former things, those of long ago;
I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.
I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say, ‘My purpose will stand,
and I will do all that I please.’
Courtship is different from dating because you begin to court when you are ready to make a commitment to marriage. It is about honoring God. Once you get marriage wrong, you get everything wrong. If you choose wrongly you are not going anywhere. If you get hooked up to the right person, you will definitely fulfil purpose in life. For two people going in different directions, they hinder each other’s progress. 1 Corinthians 7:32 “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord”
7:36 “ If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.”
Children of God shouldn’t be into dating but biblical courtship.
Proverbs 19:14 “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a wise, understanding and prudent wife is from the Lord”. There’s a difference between lookers and finders. Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper congenial for him.” Congenial means someone is a comparable and that can only come from the Lord. What makes courtship stands out is accountability. Accountability to spiritual leaders, parents and mentors. Dating is always done in the hidden. You must establish guidelines in courtship. In courtship, you guard and guide against temptations and exposures. People in Courtship recognizes that God holds them accountable to honor one another. When you are courtship, you receive grace and support of others to strengthen you so that you can maintain commitment to purity. Courtship focuses on God’s kingdom. Matthew 6:33
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”.
What do you do in courtship:
It’s a time to pray. People in courtship pray together
You dig deep into the word of God, so that you can know what God thinks concerning every step that you take. Relationships that does not recognize the word of god is simply dating and would not end anywhere.
You look at Spiritual, mental and emotional compatibility. You look at if you are compatible spiritually. Emotional compatibility is checking the emotions balances between the two of you. This is the time to address differences else your differences will address you.
You address personal dreams. You want to be able to measure your dreams and what direction each of you are on and how to merge it together.
You address family differences. During courtship, you prepare each family to come together.
Courtship is for communication and so if you don’t have an effective communication in courtship, you wouldn’t be able to communicate effectively in marriage. Questions are important during courtship so ensure to ask as many as possible. Ladies, it’s a time for you to interview. Please discuss your concerns. Courtship is a choice to wait for God’s best.
James 1:17 “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
2 Corinthians 5:7 “ For we live by faith, not by sight”
The heart is the most important and only God knows the heart, so depend on God for this decision. If you decide in courtship to step out, it would not lead to bitterness because you have not done what you are not supposed to do.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope.5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
A “no” in courtship is better than a divorce or miserable marriage.